Change of chemo, so he's not in the trial

Something I believe I forgot to mention in my previous posts is that now that we've opted to go with a new chemo regimen, Jim isn't in the clinical trial any longer. Truthfully, it was a little hard to leave the trial. While in the trial, it sort of felt like he was helping. With what I'm not sure. But it definitely felt like Jim was contributing to the greater good.

By far, the toughest part about being out of the trial is the fact that we don't get our weekly dose of Deb Grey like we used to. Deb is one of the clinical trial coordinators, and she's the BEST. Every time Jim had chemo, she'd take a chunk of time and talk to us - in part because she had to ask Jim health-related questions for the trial, but also because she's just an all-around caring person. Sometimes I hugged her so hard that she might have felt that I was closer to a static-cling pantleg.

Getting to know Deb was most definitely one of the best benefits of participating in the trial. She's shared our joys, and our pain over scans that weren't as great as we'd hoped. She's called us at home and checked in on Jim, and me, too. She gave us the motivation to keep going through times when we questioned whether or not it was worth it.


Now that Jim is out of the trial, we're still getting calls and caring from Deb. I don't know how some of these people do it - she's held Jake for me during tearful doctor visits, she's played with Rachel and set up coloring trays for her, she's shared stories of vacations and stories of her kids with us. The people at the Vince get so personally vested in some of their relationships. It must be hard. It's got to be frustrating to see the emotional and physical rollercoaster of cancer. But at the same time, I imagine it's going to be a thrill for her, and for some of the others, when they get to hear the savory words "No Evidence of Disease". I'm not sure how we'll ever thank these people that give us light, encouragement, motivation, and comfort. Deb Grey is someone we'll cherish in our hearts forever.