This blog is for Jim Marventano's family and friends to review his status and updates while he goes through treatment for Stage IV Colon Cancer. We can beat it together!

Friday, June 08, 2007

Too much information

If you embarrass easily, don't read this post. If you have a weak stomach, don't read this post. If you prefer to keep Jim in a glossy, ideal picture in your mind, don't read this post. If you work with Jim and choose to continue reading, please be aware that this is not a Professional Post. You'll be seeing Jim in a new light.

For the three of you left reading, here we go. One of the things that no one tells you about chemo: it messes with your colon. I mean, hasn't poor Jim already had enough messing with his colon? His colon is now 18 inches shorter. He's now missing his cecum and his appendix. But chemo messes with...what comes out of your colon. Your poop. Not a good thing.

Some of you may know that Jim is a legendary pooper. What man isn't? But Jim's is almost a talent. He's got a flair for...poop. Back when we lived in Charlotte, I once complained to Jim that I hated it that I would have to poop around 10:00 am after I got to the office. An annoyance for a germaphobe, to say the least. Without hesitation, Jim explained to me that if I really didn't want to have to go to the bathroom at the office, I would need to adhere to a schedule whereby I moved my...appointment...by 15 minutes every day, until finally, I would be sitting in the privacy of my own home to poop. He made it expressly clear that this was a commitment - no going off the schedule, no tinkering with the times involved. I realized then that I was dealing with someone way out of my league.

I've never understood the whole bathroom thing. I think women, in general, feel very different about the bathroom than men. I don't get just sitting there. Waiting for something to happen. Um, wait outside the bathroom, getting stuff done, and right at the moment you need to go, sit down and go. None of this loitering around.

I've suspected for years that Jim's polite method of getting away from me, and later, from the kids, was going to the bathroom. I mean, come on. No one can sit there for that long without a purpose. Jim and I are on our fifth house. In each house, we've strived for two things: 1. Location, location, location. And 2. Two bathrooms. This is simply so that Jim can have his own place in which to set up shop. Our first house in Atlanta only had one bathroom. What a disaster. Moreover, the bathroom was adorned with two tiny folding doors. Jim replaced the doors within the first week of living there. He couldn't handle the dogs snuffing around the crack between the doors.

Our second house in Atlanta, though, became home to The Magazine Graveyard. The house had two blessed bathrooms - and the one upstairs was Jim's territory. I rarely went up there save for a cleaning every few months. That's when The Magazine Graveyard started. Jim would start looking around downstairs, and I would slowly realize that he was looking for something to read. So he'd finally end up with some sort of reading material, typically a Family Handyman or some such magazine. Jim had a massive drawer full of magazines that I called The Magazine Graveyard because once magazines worked their way upstairs, they were never welcome into mainstream circulation again.

For someone so smitten with ritual and "alone-time", you can imagine how hard it is to be pumped full of drugs that make him go either extra-fast (the most delicate way I can think of to say that), or not go at all. It's the Not Going At All that's the worst. It's painful. And the pain makes everything worse - other pains in the body, mentally he starts to wonder whether it's the cancer that's preventing him from going, and he's even more scrunched over because of the pain. He's on a new anti-pain medication that, lo and behold, makes things worse. One of his chemo drugs, the irinitocan, is notorious for giving people diarrhea, so they give atropine to combat it. So far it doesn't seem that Jim needs the atropine, especially since his anti-pain med seems to be doing the trick.

This whole commentary can be categorized under "Things no one tells you about cancer". Apparently it's not a subject many people are interested in addressing. Who can blame them? But this blog is a commentary on what's going on in our house. Plumbing is important in our house. Keeping things moving is essential to happiness and mental well being. Isn't it that way for everyone? I think it is, it's just hard to talk about.

Labels: , , ,

7 Comments:

Blogger Blog Antagonist said...

I kept reading. Do you think less of me now?

Kate...I know cancer is a serious issue, but this was one funny piece. I seriously laughed out loud, and Greg asked me what was so funny. I read it to him and then he laughed out loud.

It's your senses of humor that will keep you guys going. I'm so glad to see that it's still intact. This is the kind of thing that would put a book, authored by you, at the top of the best sellers list.

4:15 PM

 
Blogger Unknown said...

This made me think of my first, and so far, only colonoscopy. I think the top of the instructions should read:
1. Buy lots of TP.
2. Pump the septic tank before beginning.
3. Have lots of vaseline handy.
Oh, the things we have to go through to keep ourselves healthy. After knowing what Jim has been through, I'll never complain about a colonoscopy again. See, I'm learning.

8:10 PM

 
Blogger The Pruntys said...

I kept reading too. Kevin is just like Jim. What is it with these guys loving to sit around and hang out reading in their own filth? Get in and get out!

And I agree that you should definitely write a book, or at the very least have your own newspaper column. I would read it religiously. You are such a fabulous writer!

Love,
Kelly

9:00 AM

 
Blogger Judester said...

Gee Kate - there seems to be a lot of poop in your house. First Jakers with his snicker when he was sick and pooping in his diaper, then a couple posts about Palmer and Major's poops in the backyard, now Jim. You poor thing! I think for your birthday we need to send air fresheners or a gas mask!

I'm right with you on the differences between men and women and the restroom. My opinion is that there are a lot more comfortable places to read and if you have to stay more than a minute or two in there, you weren't ready to enter in the first place!

I'm sure all the men reading are just as perplexed with us. They are probably thinking "How do they do it so fast?" "Why wouldn't you want to read in the john?" "What in the world is wrong with those women?"

- Jude

10:40 AM

 
Blogger French said...

Denying Jimmy his time on the throne is like taking paints away from Monet. A true Master should never be denied his medium.

And yes, it is a guy thing. We know it is the one place no one would dare to bother us. Beside, now I know what to get Jim for his next birthday
http://www.askmen.com/toys/top_10/8_top_10_list.html

12:30 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When the "libraries" of the home were turned into "sewing" rooms the men of the house hold had to move some where else. Back when men had a cigar and read the paper in the library, women were in the kitchen doing the dishes. All of a sudden they were allowed to vote and our last room of the house was GONE. The boar's head came off the wall, the fish and deer antlers were put out in the garage and "frilly" stuff was hung in its place.
Just remember when we do go to the new "library" or reading room the seat will stay down.
Papa

5:06 PM

 
Blogger Shawna said...

Kate - I felt guilty laughing so hard with this post! I'm so impressed by how you're able to take us to the lighter side of your life. I, too, would buy your book!

6:02 AM

 

Post a Comment

<< Home