Like I said, no where to go but up

Well. A series of events has kicked off that I believe to be profoundly significant for us. Yesterday, our pastor came to visit us because he's read the blog about Jim's mental state. Fortunately for us, Pastor Kirby is a man of action and asked if he could come visit rather than waiting for us to call. Good idea, because we just didn't have the wherewithal to make the call ourselves. We had a wonderful meeting with Pastor Kirby. He renewed our faith. We needed it.

The kids and I picked Judi up at the airport this morning. 15 minutes after Judi walked in the house, she got Jim to admit how very bad the pain is. We called the doctor's office to figure out some other pain medication combination. While on the phone with the nurse practitioner, Dr. Haid ordered a scan for Jim, STAT. He was concerned that the pain in Jim's stomach may have been due to an abscess.

We got the results back tonight, and although he does not have an abscess, unfortunately there is some growth on the existing tumors in his abdomen and there is a new growth. We are not happy about this; however, I believe this series of events is a sign. It's time to move forward. To stop the current chemo regimen and start something new. To figure out the next plan.

We have an appointment with Dr. Haid on Tuesday afternoon. Monday morning we'll begin making calls and trying to move up our appointments with Sloan Kettering and Mayo. We may also bring Madison back into the picture, as they are an excellent resource for clinical trials, they are within driving distance, and the Mayo Clinic flat out told me that Madison is an excellent place to go.

Although we are disappointed, we are pushing on and looking for something new. Jim's cousin David is helping us out. He is working with his government and pharmacuetical contacts to determine what clinical trials are available and what's the latest and greatest. There are other drugs and other treatments available to us, it's just a matter of finding the right match for Jim.

I believe that Judi's visit is impeccable timing, as we were able to go to the hospital for the scan immediately after Dr. Haid ordered it, and left the kids with Judi. If Judi hadn't gotten the actual pain situation out of Jim, we wouldn't have called the doctor's office. Jim would have truly suffered through the weekend. If Dr. Haid was a lesser doctor, he would have taken a "let's wait and see" attitude. Clearly this scan tells us that his current chemo regimen needs to be changed. If we had waited for the next scan, we wouldn't have found anything until August, and Jim would have gone through these chemo treatments for no reason.

Getting hysterical and losing control is not practical at this juncture. This is disheartening, definitely. But as I mentioned before, we've been at rock bottom since a couple of days ago. We are taking this news in stride and we are ready to move on. Many people have suffered through multiple setbacks to beat the cancer later. I still believe that this will happen for Jim. No one else is like Jim. There are few people on this earth that are as wonderful as Jim. We need him here. We have faith, we have prayer, and we have a support network that is stronger than alloy metal. Plus, Jim is surrounded by B.O.S.S. - Bossy Older Sister Syndrome. If he stumbles, we'll pick him back up, dust him off, and keep going.

Thank you so much, all of you, for your calls, presents, letters, cards and prayers. Please understand that we cannot express our appreciation enough - but we are not making many phone calls at this point. Jim is not able to do much because of the pain, and my first truly free moment typically occurs at 10:00 pm. We love hearing from you. It means so much to us. Please don't be put off by our bad manners. I used to be the thank-you note queen...that's one of the first things that I've dropped off. So many of you have offered to visit us and help out at home. Although Jim doesn't have the strength for visits, we are trying to figure out a solid date in July when we can visit and meet with people in Rochester. Judi has graciously offered her home (and her pool, as an added incentive) for an open house. We'll be posting the date that we'll be in Rochester as soon as we know solid plans. We're shooting for the week of July 23rd.

Regarding my last two posts: we are still at rock bottom, but we will persevere. There are still so many rounds in this fight. And although the grass may be greener on the other side, our side of the fence is still pretty darn good. I just know in my heart he will beat it.