This blog is for Jim Marventano's family and friends to review his status and updates while he goes through treatment for Stage IV Colon Cancer. We can beat it together!

Monday, August 20, 2007

I've lost my moral code: we bought him a barcalounger

I haven't posted in a long while because we've been up to our eyeballs in kids, cancer, appointments, and TPN. Things have been a little crazy at the Marventano household. Beyond my first statement there, I'm at a loss for words.

Jim isn't doing well, folks. He is getting the TPN as planned. His first couple of days of TPN he was hospitalized so that they could monitor his blood levels. Then he came home and the Visiting Nurses Association has taught me to hook up his TPN at night and take it off his port in the morning. Now they are only scheduled to come to the house on Mondays and Thursdays for bloodwork.

The reason I say he isn't doing well is because he's sick every morning. In fact, he's sick every morning at 8:00 am on the nose. We're not sure what's causing the nausea - it could be myriad factors, but the fact remains that he's sick every morning at 8:00, and then gradually feels better throughout the day.

The TPN is contributing to swelling in his legs and feet. He's so swollen that it's becoming painful. They've got him on water pills to try and control the fluid buildup in his abdomen and reduce the swelling in his legs, but they don't seem to be working ultrafast. And understandably, they have him on low doses of the water pills because otherwise the meds could drain his potassium levels, which could cause problems for his heart.

He's not able to eat anything. They told us that could happen because he's getting everything he needs from the TPN.

He's got fluid buildup in his abdomen, making it hard for him to breathe. He can't lie down at all. So he's been sleeping sitting up in a chair. TPN is pure liquid - TPN plus the water pills means he has to get up and use the washroom multiple times per night. Due to exhaustion he's near delirious at night so he gets up at different times to take pain meds as he needs them.

This leads me to the title of the post: we bought him a barcalounger. It occurred to me that he can't sleep sitting up in the old wing chair that he's been sitting in. So I asked if he'd like me to rent him a hospital bed from the VNA. He said no. So then I sucked in my breath and offered to get him a barcalounger. He agreed. Big exhale and wavery smile. Luckily Janet agreed to go with me to pick out the hideous chair. And when we walked into the store, the clerk said "Can I help you find something?" and Rachel said "We're looking for a big ugly chair for my Daddy!" Oh geez. Janet and I picked the best of the bunch, loaded it up, and brought it home. It's an electric chair so he can recline with the push of a button. It's also a lift chair so by pushing a different button he can basically move the chair to put him in a near standing position. Technology at it's finest. At least it doesn't have cup holders.

Jim and I have been having more of the hard talks. At some point, everyone who has cancer has to determine when or if to stop treatment. And there comes a point when continuing on with treatments is foolish and cruel. The doctors and nurses have been prepping me for the hard decisions for a while now. Although we haven't made a decision to stop treatment, we are at a point where I question whether or not continuing on with treatment is prudent. Dragging someone to more appointments than they can handle reflects selfishness on the part of the family - not caring.

For the last several months, before every treatment I've tried to remind Jim that he only has to do the treatments he wants to do. He can stop at any time, or we can try other options if something makes him uncomfortable. We've worked hard to find every available treatment avenue so that he can have as many choices open to him as possible.

Truthfully, if Jim wasn't so thin, it would be easier to drag him to more appointments. Before he didn't look like he had cancer. Now he looks frail and I dread inflicting any kind of discomfort on him. Throughout this process, the two hardest things have been watching Jim experience any kind of pain or discomfort; and, the changes in our relationship.

We can hope that some of the discomfort he's experiencing is the microspheres at work. But it takes 60 - 90 days to have the best picture of what the microspheres are doing. And it takes around 6 weeks for the liver to repair itself. So even if the microspheres are at work, I don't know that we're going to get immediate results. He's got an appointment in Chicago the first week in September to determine the next steps with the microspheres. At this point I'm not sure whether or not Jim will keep that appointment - we'll see how he feels when we get closer to the date.

I don't know where we go from here. He has two appointments this week - one to drain the fluid in his abdomen again. The second is for the stent to help keep his kidneys open. I think after this week we'll be better able to gauge our next steps and determine how many or which appointments he wants to keep.

Please keep us in your prayers. Please pray for our miracle. Please pray for peace of mind, for healing, and for the grace to make the best decisions for Jim's health and well being. I wish I had better news to report. I wish that hearing Lola had truly meant hearing "NED". I wish he'd get better. I wish we never had to deal with cancer. I wish, I wish, I wish.

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22 Comments:

Blogger Unknown said...

Hi Kate and Jim... Joanne Fusare (White) from high school. I think you receieved a little reunion update in the mail today so we are hoping that this will put a smile on your face hearing from some old high school friends. We continue to hold your family in our prayers, not only at church but at dinner time when we say grace too. Sending hugs and smiles your way. Love, Joanne

10:53 PM

 
Blogger Blog Antagonist said...

Praying. Hard.

5:45 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We're praying. And we don't pray.

Take care, Artemis, Wyatt, and Jeff

9:14 AM

 
Blogger Judester said...

Cousin David sent me this prayer that Grandma Marventano used to say. It was comforting to read, perhaps because it was one Grandma used to say. I know that Jim has asked the pastors at your church to pray with him quite a bit. Perhaps this will give him comfort as well.

"Jesus great healer, I come to you today to ask your blessing on all of those who are sick. I ask in particular that you place your healing hand on Jim that he might be cured. I believe that all things are possible with you, and that you only want good things for us. If it be your holy will, give him relief from illness, peace of mind, and the courage to accept whatever he must endure this day. Just as you healed the blind man, the lepers, and the woman who was hemorrhaging, Jesus so heal Jim, at least in mind and spirit that he might give you glory and praise this day. Bless all of us, your children, that we might endure any suffering and pain that comes to us this day. Amen."

10:47 AM

 
Blogger French said...

Found this prayer from a rabbi. I have added it to our prayers for you.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18353358/site/newsweek/

11:16 AM

 
Blogger rozanne said...

We're keeping you all in our prayers, too. I'm so sorry. It's just so unfair.

3:54 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jim and Kate,

With all my heart I pray everyday for you both.

I wish I could make it better for your family...

Please know I wish I could share in some of the pain to try to help you both feel better. We will keep your family near in our thoughts and prayers

Frankie Castellana

4:14 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Jim & Kate

I think about you both often and wish I was there to give you both hugs! I'm not a big prayer guy and and I tend to only ask of the sports gods but I will ask them for something a little out of the ordinary.
Love you both
Cousin Rich

5:56 PM

 
Blogger The Pruntys said...

We love you and continue to pray every day.

6:03 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aunt Dot and Uncle Don want you both to know that even though we have not responded to your blogs. we hold all of you in our thoughts, our prayers every day and most of all in our hearts! We wish we could see you personally to tell you how much we love you and will continue our prayers to God, the Immaculate Heart of Mary and St. Peregrine each day!

6:11 PM

 
Blogger The Oakleys said...

We are praying for that miracle...
Love you guys.

6:35 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jim, Kate and Kids- We are on vacation in a cabin in the middle of nature were there is no t.v. (and unfortunately no barcaloungers :) but there is a DSL line so that we were able to log on and read your latest Post. We continue to pray dfor Jim's complete healing, and that you all would feel God's presence, experience His peace and hear His voice amidst all "the noise" and daily decisions that must be made. Sending lots of love! The Q's

7:57 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Jim and Kate,
Another friend from High School, Lenore D'Arpino (Horenstein). As you heard and saw in the video, we all missed you so much. My heart goes out to you Jim, and your family. Thinking of you and praying for you. Strength and love to you all, Lenore

10:28 PM

 
Blogger Becky Ferguson said...

Jim, Kate, Rachel and Jake,

We love you all so much. Unconditional is the word for it. Jim and Kate.. the two of you are my building blocks for what a marriage looks like! I love love love you! Miracles happen every day,.. just look at Rachel and Jake. You are always in my thoughts, every thought. We love you all so much.

11:32 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Kate and Jim,

I have been reading your posts religiously and you are both in my thoughts everyday. I am so sad for what you are going through and I pray that a miracle will still happen...your family deserves one.
Deb H.

11:34 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I prayer for you to find the strength to accept God's will. I pray that God's will, will be the miracle you need. I pray for God to guide you through the hard talks,

1:58 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for the update. It's good that you share what's going on so you don't have to go through it alone. Just look at the posted comments.....we're all with you in thought and prayer.
Linda

6:13 AM

 
Blogger Unknown said...

Jim and Kate-
I grew up with Jim and Judy at church and then lived down the road from you on Beaver Creek. I just wanted you to know you have been in my thoughts and prayers. No one should have to go through what you are, but to do it with such grace and humour is truly incredible. I hope the best for you and will continue to pray everyday that you get your miracle.

Christine (Burton) Gardner

11:45 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Kate and Jim,
We just heard the news and we are praying for both of you and your kids. We miss you and Beaver Creek! Will be in touch.
Sam and Leslie Kaiser

1:33 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Jim and Kate,
We just want you to know that our thoughts and prayers are with each of you. We love you.
Love,
John, Jennifer & Kara Lingvai

2:41 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kate and Jim,
I don't know where you live, but I could find it. Kohler is small. I want to come, stand outside your house and yell, "Rally! Rally! Rally!"
Please know your are in my thoughts and prayers. Praying for your miracle.
Lisa

8:26 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jim and Kate-
You are in my thoughts and prayers! Kate I have never met you but you are an amazing, strong, inspiring and humorous woman, you give everyone hope. I pray that you all get your miracle.
Alana

8:48 PM

 

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