Oh man, I yelled at someone tonight

Oh geez.

If you ever call my house repeatedly as a telemarketer, rest assured I'm going to get annoyed. If you call my house repeatedly asking for my husband who passed away in September, I'm going to try and politely blow you off at least three times. And then, when you call, just after I get my kids to bed and my hands are wet and soapy from frantically washing dishes before LOST starts, please know that I'm going to get pissed. Especially when you ask for JAMES once again. She didn't even ask for Jim. I yelled at her and told her that he died in September.

I know. I feel bad. That wasn't too cool.

But in my defense, how many times do I have to tell you to stop calling the house before you finally get the hint? And how many times do I have to be subjected to someone calling and asking for my husband that recently passed away? And is it really good business to call my house at 8:00 pm?

Actually, things are going pretty well. Aside from my phone tirade.

I've been thinking and meditating a lot about how things are going. Since the new year, I've really been working on my New Year's Resolutions, (except the getting more sleep part - that's totally gone by the wayside) and I'm feeling better for it. I've also been working on not swearing because Rachel took the liberty of using a couple of nasty words at school last week when she had a substitute teacher. My meltdowns from this point forward are going to have to be rated G.

I am tired of letting my ship go which ever way the wind blows. I've been doing that for months. Before it felt like Jim was steering and I was helping. Now he's no longer here and I'm trying to steer alone. For a while I got frustrated and just let go, but I'm looking forward to new challenges. I am ready to start some things. I've been writing my goals and preparing for the coming year. Well actually, I have one goal written and it's a whopper. (I'm working on 5 more...)

I've got plans to work on the house again. The majority of our house is painted this sickly mint-green that looks almost white, but isn't. We bought it that way, and we've been intending to change it ever since. I am ready to get to work on that. I'd love to get the house to the point where I can just...putter. I have no idea if I can make that happen, but I'm going to try. The countertops go in Monday, and I'm excited about it. That's going to help a lot. Jim did not approve of the granite tiles. I don't think he liked it when stuff got caught in the grout. Neither do I. I've missed having Silestone.

I am reading a slew of new books. I am really getting excited about the volunteer work I've been doing. I'm focused on making things better. For me, for my kids, and for the people around me. I am ready for change! I am woman, hear me roar! Or at least, I am mom, hear me yell at telemarketers!