The Magnificent Six

Okay, my title there is a cheesy take on The Magnificent Seven (which, by the way, I believe is a Western take on The Seven Samurai, and if you haven't seen that movie, shame on you). BUT - if ever there was a more magnificent gathering of six men, I'd like to see it.

This past weekend, David, Joel, Keith, Mark and Scott all came out to see Jim. I think I listed the guys in chronological order - he's known David since Kindergarten. These are Jim's guys. Over the years, Jim has made multitudes of friends and acquaintances, but the fact of the matter is that nothing compares to the friendships he's forged with these five guys. These guys have history, and a lot of it.

Mark and his wife Terri, who is a good friend of mine, got to see Jim on Friday. But Friday was an unusually bad day, and thusly they had to watch Jim suffer through some pretty intense pain. It was the first time in a year that I've become frustrated with "the system". I asked for meds at 7:50 am, and I wasn't able to pick them up until 6:00 pm. That's too long for someone in hospice to have to wait for pain relief. And he couldn't swallow pills so I had to get him something new - I couldn't use the pain meds we already have. I'm accustomed to working with The Vince - I ask for what I want, they give it to me. Immediately. This hospice program is new, and we're new to hospice. I had to stand in line and wait, probably like all the other caregivers do for people who aren't Jim. But this is Jim we're talking about. Everyone loves Jim. And I never have to stand in line because of it. Any way, Friday was tough and I asked Mark and Terri to over-prep the guys for their arrival on Saturday because I was worried that Saturday was going to be another bad day.

When the guys got here they seemed a bit apprehensive. Probably because I basically had Mark and Terri scare the hell out of them. It's hard to prepare people that haven't been watching the day-to-day activities. But Saturday was a better day for Jim and he was so happy to see everyone. Each guy brought his own special quality to the weekend. Without getting too syrupy, it was thrilling and devastating all in the same 48 hour period. It was so exciting when they got here. It was so depressing to know that it was such a great group, gathered for the wrong reason. I felt a serious sense of loss when they all left. Some of the guys are Jim's friends - not mine. I felt sad knowing that I won't be seeing some of them again. The guys spent some time all together, but then everyone also got to spend a little time alone with Jim, which is highly prized at this point because he's so tired.

Pictured from left to right: (the back of Rachel's head...) Keith, David, Joel, Scott, Mark and Jim.

David brought gifts for the kids and tons of really funny (and ever so slightly embarrassing) pictures. Jim loved looking through a photo album that I believe David's Dad put together - it's the original form of scrapbooking - pictures, and typed captions. None of this frilly s$%t. Man scrapbooking! He had pictures and stories galore, including a story about when he accidentally smashed through a glass door while chasing Jim. And that was the first story he told. David's got a sharp wit and story-telling is something of an art in his case.

Joel brought pictures of his family (we haven't seen them in several years) which was neat. His kids colored pictures and sent gifts to Rachel and Jake. And then, he'd made the most awesome video. Back in 1989 Jim and a bunch of friends (including David and Keith) went camping in Great Bend, Ontario, Canada. Unfortunately for their current egos, someone brought a video camera. Joel had the video converted to DVD, and then he edited the DVD to make a music video that shortened the painful original video down to one song. But of course, we all also got to see the original video which, among other embarrassing things like candy necklaces, jean-short-overalls and bandannas, featured an unusually long performance of the guys acting like Bob and Doug Mackenzie. When in Canada...

Keith brought pictures from their many experiences over the years, including the several years that we lived in Atlanta - we lived around 2 miles from Keith for the 6 years we were there. Some of Keith, David and Joel's pictures also invoked conversation about everyone's 80's "uniform" - the getups they all wore while cruising for chicks. Let me tell you that in all the pictures and videos, they were primarily with each other - no women to be found anywhere. But I digress.

Mark brought Jim a beautiful cross and he made a slide show of cool pictures from over the years. They also brought gifts for the kids, including a disgusting game called "What's In Ned's Head?" that is apparently very popular with four-year-old boys. The objective of the game is to take a card, reach into Ned's head, feel around, and draw out the gross object. Rachel wasn't sure about reaching into Ned's head to feel around for a plastic pile of bird poop with a worm in it, but she did well and then she pestered us to play it with her for the rest of the weekend. Terri came to take care of me and the kids, which was a huge treat for me. Although she's pregnant so I drank all my wine alone. Even if she had wanted some she probably wouldn't have been able to get it out of my kung-fu grip.

And Scott - the gentle soul and glue of the group, brought Jim a beautiful picture that he'd made and had framed. It was a picture of Scott, Keith, Mark and Jim, all out fishing together. Scott converted the picture to a watercolor. It is truly beautiful. As the original picture is one of Jim's favorites, the watercolor will now hang in our bedroom. Scott also got to drink some wine but he's bigger than me so I didn't argue. ;) While watching the video Joel made, Scott began to realize where several articles of his clothing had gone during college. Good one, Keith.

It was a weekend of merriment and sadness. Jim was so touched that all the guys went out of their way to see him. It lifted his spirits and he had a good weekend. It was so hard to say goodbye. As the cancer has progressed and we started planning with the guys, I've found myself working toward this weekend and not looking much past it. I've been planning and hoping and doing everything in terms of "we just have to push through until the guys get here". After the guys left there was such a sense of finality and letdown that it seemed as hard for me as it was for Jim.

In all my life I can never hope to be as well liked or as popular as Jim. But these friendships are not based on popularity. This is friendship and devotion at it's finest. These are good, good men. They lead exceptional lives and they care about other people. And they care about Jim. They dropped everything and flew from all over North America to spend a weekend with someone they love. Although I came into the picture so late in their friendships, I am eternally grateful to these five guys for their unending support, for their faithfulness to Jim, and for their commitment to the true meaning of friendship.