Project...and I promise it won't be a headless angel
My friend Amy made a marvelous suggestion to me tonight that I thought I would pass on and share with everyone.
Rachel and Jake are still very young, and although I believe both of them will have great memories of their father, it would be wonderful if they had accounts of how truly amazing Jim is, and what kind of a person he is - stories that they can read in the future and fill in a picture of their father.
If you have a story or a memory of Jim, whether it be happy or funny or just something Jim did or said that you found touching, please feel free to share it. I'll be making a book for each of the kids. You can either email the stories to storiesaboutjim@yahoo.com, or mail them directly to our house.
Recently we've heard from a number of Jim's childhood/middle school/highschool friends. Now, I'm quite certain that Jim was an absolute angel, and that there's not much to tell, BUT, just in case, I'd like to hear stories from ALL times in Jim's life, so feel free to send anything, including funny pictures, stories, etc. Jim got a couple of hilarious pictures (and a rather descriptive note), as well as an old RH Comets sticker in the mail today. I cannot tell you what that meant to him. It's good to see him laugh. We've gotten notes from a few people who were younger than Jim in highschool, and they've mentioned how good it made them feel that Jim "looked out" for them when they were freshmen at school. That's classic Jim - he takes care of everyone around him.
A few people have also written Jim very heartfelt notes telling him how much he's touched their lives. If any of you are interested in writing that kind of note, I'd love to include those in the books as well.
I thank you again for all the cards, phone calls and emails. If you have something that you'd like to share about Jim, we'd love to hear from you! It will make a wonderful gift for the kids and I think the outpouring of love and friendship we've received is a true testimonial to the kind of person that Jim is. And I promise not to let this one be a headless angel. I figure I have a few year before the kids start reading anyway. ;)
posted by Kate at 10:06 PM
17 Comments:
Kate:
What a great idea for your children! I'll start going through old photos tonite! Please hug Jim for me.
Karen (O'Brien) Lampman
R-H '86
10:30 AM
Jim,
You were one of the first guys I met in the summer of 78' when my family moved to Strawberry Hill. I remember hanging around with you and Glenn Stowe, Bob Harris, the Czerniak,s and the Postulas. You were the most level headed guy in the crowd. We used to make the coolest snow forts along the creek behind your house. Even as a kid you always appeared confident and you were highly respected in our neighborhood. A lot of time has passed since then and it is obvious that you have been successful in life. Be proud of what you have accomplished, you have a beautiful family. I know you will continue to be strong for them, you are just that kind of person. Peace and love from the old neighborhood.
11:29 AM
Hey Jim,
Remember the old days at IP-Geneva, you taught me everything I needed to know about sales. You taught me the difference between a wrench and a pair of pliers. To this day I've never met anyone who can play solitaire like you. I still have that hideous looking golf bag you gave me, remember the superman colored one. Nothing but laughter comes to mind when I think of you. Take care.
Zach Zeder
8:07 PM
I'm one step ahead of you. I'm writing about the day Rachel was born, and how much it meant to me to share that experience with the two of you. I hope I can do it justice.
7:09 AM
There's a site called blurb.com that will take your blog and turn it into a hardbound book. This blog is such a gem, it would be a wonderful keepsake.
9:29 AM
Hey Good Lookin family -
Seeing your photos and reading your stories are very inspiring and honest. I do hope you check out the site Wendy mentioned. You have an amazing life and an amazing heart (and Jim - you have amazing legs...no really I told Kate so during one of our girl's nights back in the day). It seems so long ago but there are some great memories.
Cheers my friends, you are in my thoughts.
-Tara
4:41 PM
This is just a prayer from an anonymous person who heard about your journey through a friend. I thank you for your blog and sharing your story.
I wish I knew you and your family, I can FEEL how special you are... I am praying with all my heart for all of you...
Pittsburgh pa
6:22 PM
When my father made the decision to let go, for me as a child, it was hard to understand it had to be. But as years pass he is not forgotten not for a day. My memories keep me connected. Your precious memories will be the bridge that keep you connected. Last year I ran across a poem by Linda Ellis, The Dash. I read it often. Jim can answer the last verse, it is acutally a question, 'Would you be proud of the things they say, about how you spent your dash?' The Marventano resounding answer is 'you darn right.' You are an amzaing couple, true love is the only thing that got you this far, 12 years of real love. God Bless.
5:47 AM
Jim, God bless you! I've been following your journey and I feel as if I know you. To be surrounded by such love is truly wonderful. For your children to have such an excellent father is a gift that they'll treasure every day of their lives.
My prayers and thoughts are with you all.
6:22 AM
To the Entire Marventano CLAN,
There is a saying in AA that can be applied to any aspect in life, when things get too much. "Let Go and Let GOD" You have all given this cancer one hell of a battle, and while nobody wants to concede defeat, think of it has letting God have one of his sons come back home. He will forever be in your thoughts and prayers, looking down on all of you. He will take care of you from Heaven, it will just be a differnent way then it is today. Kate, I am sobbing as I write this. I can not imagine what this feels like. Though we have never met, you are an amazingly strong woman and Jim has been blessed to have you in his life. My prayers will be with you and I ask God to take care of you and your kids. God never gives us more then we can handle, but sometimes I wonder why He has to push it to the limit :). Jim and Janet, I am so sorry for this loss. As a parent, I can not imagine the pain of losing a child. From many I have talked with, it is sometimes harder then losing a spouse. It is a physical part of you. I wish I could do something more then send my prayers. I know how proud of him you were, as you never stopped talking about him, or your daughter for that matter. You have done a wonderful job as parents, just look at Kate and your grandkids to know what a wonderful man you helped raise. I will never forget the story of Jim unloading the snowblower, when Kate and him moved to North Carolina? and people thinking it was somekind of fancy rototiller. When you get back to Rochester, and get settled, call/email me. Stay Strong All of you. MAY GOD BLESS YOU, these days and all the days of your life.
Jason Herbst - Penfield, NY
8:42 AM
Kate,
What a great idea and a great keepsake for the children and for you. John and I have a few stories to share so we will get working on them. Please give Jim a hug from all of us.
Love to you all, stay strong,
Jennifer Lingvai
9:48 AM
Dear Kate, Jim, Rachel and Jake,
There is an acclaimed writing instructor by the name of Robert McKee. His book "Story" has gained world renowned status. I am sure Kate knows of him.
I bring this up because we are all given an opportunity to write our own "story". A story of our lives. And even though we live in an age where story is in decline, being overcome with a loss of love and values, your story rises up and proves that God is with us, that the life he gives us is a precious gift. What we do with that gift makes all the difference.
Your life is an inspiring story filled with joys and struggles, and a very clear focus on what truly matters. Your children and your family and the thousands of people who have lived this story with you will carry it the rest of their lives.
You are continually in our prayers. Remember that you are not alone.
Love,
Daryl and Kristin and the boys
10:15 AM
Jim,
I just had a few things I didn't put on the card that I thought of. In high school I remember the strength you showed on the football field. We also worked briefly at the movie theatre together (the now flattened lot by Marketplace Mall). I remember having to count all those cups and popcorn bowls. That is probably why you decided to create the boxes rather than count them ever again. I also remember you being the ladies man in high school, (sorry Kate) Did you really date both Marstons?? Only you will really know. (Ha Ha) Jeri said it would be ok to tease you on this one.
Even in the most recent pictures I still see a very handsome man with a lot of courage and strength.
You and your family have proven that in adverse times people will come together with love and support. Your always on our minds and in our hearts.
Peace and Hugs. Kathy (Budgen) Hughes.
9:53 AM
Hi Kate, Jim and family,
When my sister told me of Jim’s current circumstances, I could not help but reflect on some memories. As soon as she mentioned his name, I thought off the cute12 year old younger brother of my high school and cheerleading buddy Judi. I remember him as the young man in the bleachers during R-H’s football games and then come basketball season; there he was with his parents. One vivid memory I have is that some of the cheerleading girls were over at the Marventano house and I remember Jim in the background kind of just hanging around. But the memory that has not extinguished through time (about 25 years) or with aging is how kind Judi and Jim were to each other. Judi was not put off at all that he was hanging around while we were there. I have a brother and sister and know how it could be if they are around when you have friends over (you may want privacy, etc.) but it was not like that at all with the two of them. And of course we did not mind at all. So when I think of Jim it is difficult to think of him with this challenge. I still think of him as the boy in the stands cheering the R-H Sperry Comets on with us.
Kate, as a wife and mother, I find that you are truly inspirational and admire your courage. With children with some medical issues, I know there were times when I just wanted to curl up and pray for everything to just be normal. But I found that when you are pushed up “against the wall” you couldn’t help but find the strength to push forward. My family’s thoughts and prayers are with all of you.
Sincerely,
Christine Lopez (O’Brien)
R-H Sperry 1983
12:23 PM
Jim,
It's been a long time.Glenn Stowe here from the old neighborhood.Just wanted to drop a note to say hey.I always new you were a tough person (remember kicking my A:::::.)It looks as you have created a wonderfull family that supports one another.As guggino mentioned I always hold with me the fun times we had as kids and the things we did that made us who we are today.I wish you and your family the very best.Also still have the plate from 2nd grade with the snoopy that you had to draw for me.
3:40 PM
Jimmy,
{To me you are always Jimmy (even when you came to sell stuff to me in the 90's), your Dad is Jim}
I was unaware until today of the courageous battle you are waging and have been waging for the last year. Glenn called and told me just a little while ago.
From reading your wife's excellent writings on your journey, it is obvious that your very unique sense of humor is still as sharp as it was when you were 18.
You could have made it on any world comedy tour - if you only had a tour bus. I remember those summer evenings and nights on Strawberry Hill when it was one long loud, comedy routine for hours on end with you, Dave and Davey.
Continue the good fight with that twinkle in your eye, that smile on your lips and those quick witted comments always flying off your tongue. All of us still in Western New York may not be with you physically in Wisconsin but we will be with you mentally.
4:57 PM
Jimmy,
It has been many years since we have seen each other as which is the case with most of our childhood friends from the old neighborhood. The fact that our lives have taken us in different directions and spread us out across the globe however can’t take away the memories we have of one another and some of the special times we have shared. My family moved into that neighborhood in 1976. You were one of the first friends I had in that neighborhood. You, Davey and Jerry MacFall, Pat Coleman, Glenn Stowe, Mike Guggino, Bob Harris, Jason Hodges, Stephanie Milarz and the Rowe family.
Childhood is a unique time in ones life. It is the point in our lives that we are invincible and experience anything and everything at least once. Like Mike and Glenn, I remember the monster snow forts down at the creeks edge with the massive snowball fights and who could forget the great hockey games we played down there by your house and out at the town park (how many times did we not listen to our parents and skated on the thin ice anyway). Speaking of the town park, do you remember playing ball there on the burgundy colored team called Boehner enterprises? We, of course, had another name for the team back then with our bathroom humor. Then there were the great hot summer days we spent up at the MacFall’s house in their what seemed to be the biggest pool in the world at the time. The evenings were also filled with excitement and sometimes a little mischief in the neighborhood. Whether we were playing massive games of hide and seek, cruising the streets in style with Mr. Rowe in the "Gold Bug" Dune Buggy, raising havoc on the streets with the Guggino Brother’s mini-bike and motorcycles or simply chilling out over at Pat Coleman’s house with the loudest stereo on the planet.
I don’t know if you remember but you were also instrumental in helping me ask a girl out for the first time. Her name was Kim Pinkoski. I can’t quite remember all the details but I believe you arranged it so Kim and I would go roller skating up at Crane School for one of the roller skating parties. I never thanked you at the time but I want you to know that I really did appreciate your help.
At the end of elementary school, my parents split up with one moving out of state and the other out of the neighborhood which is why I think we saw less and less of each other. Our paths crossed from time to time over the next several years, usually over at Pat’s house where we would play pool and crack jokes on one another although it was generally you doing most of the cracking (you were a born natural at it). It is really a shame that we can’t stay connected with all of our childhood friends as we grow up and make your journey in life but rest assured if you ever shared a joyful memory or experience with someone during your childhood then you have helped to shape that persons character and helped to define who they are later on in life.
From what I have read on this blog it is very evident to me that you have touched a great deal of people in your lifetime and are loved by many. I wish I had had the opportunity to see you and your wonderful family in recent years but I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.
God bless you and your family Jimmy.
One of your many childhood friends,
Greg
P.S. – Jimmy, I love the picture and story of you and Rachel with her first fish!
8:40 PM
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