Addicted to Nike+
Okay, so you know I signed up to walk the half marathon in memory of Jim.
There's more to it. I am walking in memory of Jim - and the Journey's Half Marathon was a big goal for him. (For those of you that don't know, Jim was a great runner when he put his mind to it. And great legs! My friend Stefany was sitting in her car one day in Atlanta and thought "Oooh, hot Italian guy out running - Oh My God, that's JIM!") But I have to admit that I am also motivated by Nike+.
Nike+ is that program that you can hook into your iPod. There's a transmitter between your Nike shoes and your iPod that tracks your pace, distance, calories burned...everything. I love it. I have maintained for many years that I am not a competitive person. {Those of you that have argued this point, take note: this is an admission of incongruity between my words and my actions.} I am competitive. The moment I'm done with my walk/run I go right into the house and hook my iPod into the computer so that I can track my mileage. I love seeing progress. And I sign up for challenges against other Nike+ members. The one I'm in right now is prompting me to run 70 miles in May - my goal is to stay in the Top 10 in a group of around 30.
Many of you know about my self-pity induced Girl Scout Cookie forays. I've gained some weight since Jan/Feb. Thank goodness those d#$% Girl Scout Cookies are gone. (I didn't throw them away - I just sped up the eating process to get rid of them faster!) I am committed to getting rid of that weight. After Jake was born I lost around 70 pounds in a matter of a few months. I haven't induced a 70 pound weight gain (more like 10 pounds), but I am determined to lose this weight in the same manner that I lost the weight after Jake was born.
I lost all that weight in the few months before Jim was diagnosed. I started exercising when Jake was 2 weeks old. I walked every single day, drank a lot of water, and ate sensible portions. That's it. But once Jim was diagnosed, I stopped exercising. I stopped drinking water. I stopped eating sensible portions. Amazingly, I really didn't gain any weight until this Jan/Feb. But I can feel a difference. And as a result of Jim's diagnosis, I am acutely aware of the need to care for my mental and physical well-being. Especially as an only-parent. But Jim struggled with feeling good from the day he was diagnosed, and truthfully, I felt guilty exercising when my husband was suffering through multiple surgeries and high-intensity chemotherapy. It just didn't seem right to say "sorry I can't hang out honey, can you watch the kids? I need to go for a run..." It just seemed selfish.
It has been difficult for me to accept that exercising would actually be more selfless than selfish at this point. After all, exercise helps level me out mentally. (And we all know I can use that!) It gives me more energy and helps me keep up with the kids. I'm providing a good example for my kids. And it's just better for my health. Especially because I have the lung capacity of a beetle. It occurred to me tonight that maybe the reason I freaked out on the kids that weekend was because I was in desperate need of some exercise. So I've started hiring sitters so that I can go for a run in peace. (And if I see you and I don't stop to talk, there's a strong possibility that I'm out there crying. It just happens sometimes. And you know what I cry to? The strangest songs - "Don't Stop Till You Get Enough", by Michael Jackson [joke from our honeymoon]; "What You Waiting For", by Gwen Stefani; "I Will Survive", by Gloria Gaynor.)
Nike+ has really helped me get out there. The half marathon has given me a goal. The exercise has given me perspective. And darn it Gloria Gaynor, I will survive. I am that competitive.
posted by Kate at 9:38 PM
5 Comments:
You know how fat I was when Rachel was born? And you know how awesome I looked the last time I saw you? Yeah. The former would be true of me again. I have desperately been trying to muster up some motivation to start excersing again, but I just caaaaaaaaan't. Perhaps the purchase of Nike+ might help????
BTW, Jim really did have sexy legs. Hairy, but sexy.
11:41 PM
I think it's awesome that you're running and keeping track of those miles! Uncle Bob has record books from when he started running decades ago. He read an article about some guy who ran something like 10,000 miles over a period of X years. He was curious how many miles he'd run. Because he had those books, he could add it up. It's pretty awesome when you get to the end of a particular stretch - like a month, a year, or a decade (I'm working on that one - only 7 more years to go!) and see "Holy smokes - look how many miles I've run!" And even though the Nike+ may help with the motivation a little, it's all you out there. It's you who laces up those sneakers when it's cold and rainy; it's you who pushes that extra minute more than last time; it's you who decides you're worth an hour of babysitting time multiple days per week. You feel so strong and empowered when it's done...(too bad I don't remember that "end of run" feeling as I'm procrastinating lacing up those shoes for the next run!) So keep doing this for you - it truly is one of the best gifts you can give yourself and your kids.
PS - I cry on my runs too. Thankfully, I lost my running partners, so no one gets to see the snotty mess at the finish line. :-(
8:06 AM
You go girl! You are doing exactly what I told you would do.... survive and flourish! You make me laugh, you make me remember, you make me grateful, you make me proud. I know being a widow is something we wish we never would have had to be, but with it comes strength and perspective. Thanks for sharing your thoughts again. You are an inspiration to others!!!
9:06 AM
I bought the Nike plus. The Shoes look really cute in my closet. They make it look like a sporty person lives here. Thanks for the inspiration to actually put them on.
8:25 PM
Kate - this is your obscure sort-of-Aunt Jan. Before I run out to buy a Nike +, I wanted to leave you this message. I don't know what made me check your blog today - it just came out of the blue. I had thought that you had discontinued it and I was glad to find out that you hadn't. You are a talented writer. Anyway - what I want to comment on was you being an only parent and issues with the kids, patience, etc. etc. I became an only parent when my kids were 3 and 4. My entire family lived clear across the country. I had a full time job. My son had a learning disability. Talk about melt downs, dirty looks from matronly know-it-alls, dispair, tears, prayers, exhaustion. Now I have the luxury of restrospect - and what I know from all of that - is that I can survive anything - and not just survive, but, because of those days I am more competent, smarter, wiser, compassionate, proud of myself, confident - and I have the MOST amazing (now grown) kids and the MOST amazing relationship with them. I also learned that my kids can survive anything (living without a father in their lives and, amazingly, ME and my sometimes crazy behavior) - children are very resiliant. This is a remarkably demanding time in your life as an only parent but, trust me, the pay off will be huge. You are doing a great job, Kate, and you have my continued admiration.
2:52 PM
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