10,000 Maniacs

I've been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster the last few days - elated because the weather is warmer, depressed because it's a new season without Jim. After Jim passed away, it just seemed like we rolled right into winter. We had a beautiful fall, but as far as I was concerned, it was basically winter. So the coming of spring makes me happy - to see a little thawing, robins in the yard, and hearing kids play outdoors. But those things also remind me that Jim won't be here this spring. He loved the sound of kids playing in the yards - the screams and calls and giggling. Spring to me meant Jim out grilling food on our patio. I love the smell of a grill. It means summer.

Last night was a low point. I was just...sad.

Today, during one of my manic high points, the kids and I were listening to The Rolling Stones - loud - in the car. And I got to thinking about my 30th birthday when we went to see The Rolling Stones in concert. I was worried that if we didn't see them at that point they'd stop touring and I'd never get to see them. Ha! We had a great time seeing The Stones. I screamed my head off. We paid a fortune for our seats, and I swear to God, the seats were so high and far away that we were ABOVE the foul pole at Turner Field. Jim was terrified at that height. It was one of the best concerts I've ever seen.

Then I got to thinking about how we've been to a lot of concerts. Boy did we do some fun things together. And I started compiling a mental list:
10,000 Maniacs - we went on our second date, and we already knew something was different between us
Rusted Root
Tori Amos
Vonda Shepherd
The The/Macha
Barenaked Ladies
Rascal Flatts/Toby Keith
Gypsy Kings (we went multiple times - it was a fun summer event)
Toby Keith, again
Phish
No Doubt/The Rolling Stones

We also saw a number of things in the theater together, including:
Phantom of the Opera - twice
Tommy - The Who
Tap Dogs
Rent (yuck!)
Miss Saigon
Jeff Foxworthy/Larry the Cable Guy/Blue Collar Tour - hilarious

I know there are others, but...of course I can't think of them right now. I'd never even heard of 10,000 Maniacs when we went to see them. He insisted I'd know their music when I heard them, but...I didn't. I'm a Led Zeppelin girl. He'd never been to a major theatrical production before Phantom. And we had such fun that we went on to see many more.

That's a pretty good rate - 16 totally different kinds of productions in 12 years. Although, admittedly, 10,000 Maniacs and Rusted Root were in the two years before we got married, so actually it was 16 productions in 14 years. And I don't count the ones that we saw separately.

Remembering things like that makes me feel good. It reminds me that we really didn't waste the time. If we saw things on an average of once a year, that's pretty good, assuming that we did other things in the meantime, which we did.

I guess right now I'm needing to feel that we didn't waste the time - I need that kind of validation. And that's what makes me feel better about losing him when he was just so darn young. We rarely said "well, let's put that off because we can do it later" - thank heavens we didn't. We didn't get to later. We got to now and we packed some fun adventures in before now arrived.